Finding out I was pregnant for the first time was a complete, joyful shock. My partner and I weren't actively trying, but seeing that positive result (all five of them!) filled us with unexpected excitement.
The very next day, I was leaving for a long-planned girls' trip to Marbella. It felt like a beautiful, immediate whirlwind. I was incredibly grateful that one of my best friends was also eight weeks pregnant; her presence was a quiet comfort, helping me navigate menus, spa precautions, and the general shock of this new chapter.
However, the reality of my pregnancy shifted dramatically.
The Defining Struggle of Hyperemesis
My first trimester was unexpectedly tough. While I started feeling sick by week six, by week eight I was struggling to function. The official diagnosis of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) at ten weeks felt like a bewildering turn for both me and my partner. We went from the excitement of expecting our first baby to facing uncontrollable vomiting and constant, debilitating nausea within a couple of weeks.
It was, honestly, an awful time. The illness stripped away the initial joy and excitement I'd felt. There were moments, in my deepest despair, where I genuinely resented being pregnant and struggled to see if the suffering was worth the outcome.
A Fragile Return to Self
The physical toll was relentless. I was vomiting 10 to 20 times a day (often so forcefully it would come out of my nose) sometimes triggered just by moving from the sofa to the bedroom. I experienced stress incontinence and lost 3kgs in those first 12 weeks.
Thankfully, around week 12, we found a medication that offered relief. Xonvea was genuinely life-changing. It didn't cure the HG, but it gave me my life back. Once on the maximum dosage, the severe vomiting subsided to 1–2 times a day in the early evening. I was still constantly nauseous, but I finally had a sense of myself again.
Now, at 28 weeks, I am still taking Xonvea. I have tried to wean off it several times, but the intense nausea quickly returns, so I've accepted that I will likely be on it until birth. And I'm okay with that.
The Invisible Weight of the Illness
The strain of HG on my mental health, my relationship, my work, finances, and general wellbeing was immense. I felt like a shadow of myself. The lack of support was also disheartening; my GP only offered brief phone calls, never seeing me in person. When I requested a perinatal mental health referral from my midwife, I was simply told the team lead position was vacant.
HG made everyday tasks impossible. The social media noise about nutritious eating and supplements during the first trimester felt like a cruel joke. I couldn't open the fridge without triggering vomiting, let alone prep food or keep it down.
For anyone else suffering with HG, please be kind to yourself. We are all surviving this the best we can. If that means convenience food and small sips of electrolytes, that is absolutely fine. Focus on getting through the next hour.
A Gentle Plea
For friends and family supporting someone with HG, I urge you to read up on the experience. Understand the severity before offering advice. When I was truly broken, hearing suggestions like "try ginger" or "eat small, frequent meals" was unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, even though I tried everything. What we needed most was empathy and practical support.
My first trimester, stretching well into week 16, was definitely not the pregnancy I expected. The reality of Hyperemesis Gravidarum has been so impactful that my partner and I are certain we will only have this one baby. I also know I am one of the fortunate ones; many women battle the full force of symptoms right until they deliver.
Today, we are firmly rooted in the joy and anticipation of pregnancy, excitedly preparing to become a family of three.