Jerilee is an accredited senior clinical psychotherapist and doctoral researcher, specialising in natural parenting. As a co-founder of 'Therapy Space' and creator of the online program 'PAUSE', she supports individuals and families on their journey. With expertise in attachment and parenting, Jerilee is passionate about guiding women through the transformative transition of 'Matrescence'. A devoted mother of two, she brings a holistic approach to nurturing healthy parent-child relationships.

Embracing the Journey: Life with a Newborn

Life with a newborn, whether it’s your first or your fourth child, is an experience both profoundly simple and deeply complex. Each birth ushers in a new phase of matrescence - the transition into motherhood - reshaping your identity and transforming your relationships. Understanding what to expect and how to support one another through this journey can make all the difference.

Birth ushers in a new phase of matrescence - the transition into motherhood - reshaping your identity and transforming your relationships.

Pregnancy: Bonding, Changes and Understanding Matrescence

Pregnancy is a deeply philosophical period in a woman’s life, a time of profound transformation and unexpected shifts in both physical and emotional landscapes. Much like the journey from childhood to adolescence, matrescence marks the transition from woman to mother. During this period, a woman’s brain undergoes remarkable changes, particularly in areas related to social cognition. She becomes attuned to what others think and feel, preparing her for the intense emotional connection with her baby.

This "baby brain," far from being a problem, is a powerful adaptation. It enhances her problem-solving abilities, improves memory, and reduces stress. However, this heightened sensitivity, while fostering deep bonds, also makes her more susceptible to anxiety and low moods due to increased empathy and awareness of others' emotions. It is crucial to understand and embrace these transformations, recognising that the strength and vulnerabilities they bring are integral to the journey of motherhood.

The transformation a woman experiences during pregnancy, both physically and emotionally, can be profound. It is crucial to understand and embrace these transformations, recognising that the strength and vulnerabilities they bring are integral to the journey of motherhood.

Bonding During Pregnancy

The act of bonding with an unborn child can feel abstract, yet it is a crucial aspect of the maternal journey. The simple, everyday acts of talking or singing to your baby, gently touching your belly, and visualising your baby’s future are small, yet significant gestures. These actions are the threads that weave the fabric of the bond between mother and child, forming connections that will last a lifetime.

Physical and Emotional Changes

Pregnancy brings with it a host of changes - some welcome, others challenging. Physically, your body undergoes significant transformations to accommodate new life. Emotionally, you may experience heightened anxiety, joy, and moments of overwhelm. These are the hallmarks of matrescence, a period that reshapes not only your body but also your very sense of self.

Learning to Surrender

One of the most profound lessons pregnancy and motherhood teach us is the art of surrender. It is about embracing the unpredictability of this new chapter and letting go of the illusion of control. Surrendering is not about giving up; it’s about trusting the process and being present in the moment. It’s understanding that in the grand scheme of things, the small inconveniences pale in comparison to the profound connections we are building with our children.

Changes as a Couple

The birth of a child inevitably reshapes the dynamics of a relationship. The partnership must now expand to include the needs of the new family member. This can strain the relationship but also offers opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

True Listening: Setting Aside Oneself

Active listening is one of the most challenging yet crucial skills in nurturing a healthy relationship, especially during the transformative journey of parenthood. It requires setting aside our own thoughts and distractions to fully engage with our partner's experiences and emotions. Here are key strategies for practicing true listening:

• Be Present: Engage fully with your partner, setting aside all distractions. Genuine attention fosters deeper connection and understanding.

• Use Open-Ended Questions: Invite thoughtful, detailed responses with questions like "How did that make you feel?"

• Avoid Leading Questions: Allow your partner to freely express emotions. Let the conversation unfold naturally.

• Admit Uncertainty: It's okay to say you don't know. This honesty builds trust and shows genuine engagement.

• Reflect and Validate: Summarise what your partner has said to show understanding. For example, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed because..." Validation acknowledges feelings without necessarily agreeing.

• Resist the Urge to Defend: If you're preparing to defend yourself instead of truly listening, you're not fully present.


Active listening demands patience, empathy, and the willingness to momentarily set aside personal perspectives. Creating a safe space where your partner feels heard and valued is essential for fostering deeper connections.

The Healing Power of Telling Your Birth Story

Sharing your birth story can be a deeply therapeutic exercise. It allows you to process your experiences, find meaning in the challenges, and connect with others who have walked a similar path. Whether you share with a partner, a friend, or a support group, recounting your story promotes emotional healing and resilience.

Embrace each moment with patience and compassion, and welcome the beautiful chaos of parenthood - a journey like no other.